Saturday, November 13, 2010

"Waste Of Our Lives"

This is the same brother that calls my Barry Manilow (Barely Man Enough). But is it fair to sink to the levels of calling my daytime soap a waste?

Okay, so none of the characters have day jobs. Wait. Bo and Roman are  police officers and I know damned well, they are working to solve Arianna's case. They are just really bad at it (case in point: Sefano is still hanging around his mansion drinking brandy). Yes, a lot of them sit around Brady's Pub or Maggie's kitchen (what happened to her restaurant Chez Rouge?) or the two mansions in town. I always just imagine that they are on their way into the office or on a lunch break...Okay, EJ does nothing but isn't he a millionaire? And Sammi, she's just looks for her meal ticket in various boy friends so she can take care of her four children, which are never around. Kate works. She runs a multi-million dollar kitchen something or other business. But, she has her gay assistant do all the real work. She looks amazing, tho, right?

Yes, I know it is impossible for 70 year old restaurant owners to gain access to the hospital's records and switch DNA results to prove paternity. I KNOW!!! I'll give you that this one does teeter on the brink of believability, but come on, Caroline was very concerned for her grand daughter's happiness. I know my grandmother would do this for me.

Okay, tricking out a sarcophagus (yes, they are calling it that) with video, audio, food and water is a tad ridiculous, I'll give my bro that.  I mean they've really upped the ante with the whole burying alive scheme. I know you wanted to torture poor Maggie. Too bad the tables were turned on you, huh Viv? But I do have one burning question, I need to know dear Vivian, how did you go the bathroom? Number one, I just used my imagination, but #2? Woah!

And Yes, I know that children age rapidly. Sammi is technically only 24 and yet she has a 16 yo son. Sometimes, they acknowledge this. They'll say "my how you've grown". I only wish they would wink into the camera when they said this, though, so they know we know and are all in on the joke.

So a waste? Naaahhh.....I get a lot of value from my "Waste" "Days".  Like, I learned that you should switch your pocket book 3 times in a day for each outfit. Do it all the time. It takes :30 to get across town. It's possible. There is always time for daytime sex. No job and no children so WTF.  It is possible to COMPLETELY recover from being shot point blank into the base of your skull  in a couple weeks. But they shaved EJs head, so it's all believable.

AND, and this has saved me more times than I can count, never whisper about your affair, or that you are concerned about the paternity of your baby (well, I have gramma's help for that) or the poison you just baked into brownies because Someone. Is. Always. Listening.

In the words of my brother... "I think it's time to Mo Vaughn."

3 comments:

  1. Yeah, the thing that hits me about soaps these days is the complete recovery from multiple tragic accidents. In real life it can take years to get over a sprained ankle.

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  2. I haven't watched a soap in over a decade yet this plot seems remarkably similar to what was going on them. Even the names are the same.

    I remember learning from soaps that if you are going to have an affair with your husband or boyfriend's brother, make sure it is the RICHER brother, not the appealing bad boy bum brother.

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  3. If you have ever watched the programme Heartbeat it was set in the late 1960's and was on for 20 years yet they stayed in the sixties!!!!!!!! I hoped that the last episode would have them being invaded by folk from the present time ..they could have done a great parody!!!

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