Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Me vs. Man vs. Food
The show starts and this particular episode is all about how Adam has to eat an enormous pulled pork sandwich (seriously, it could feed a family of 8). BUT this isn't just any pulled pork sandwich, no, this has a bucket of coleslaw on it and 6 oz. of Shut Up Juice (this means it has the juice of some really spicy pepper, equivalent to 200 jalapenos) slathered all over it.. 64 people have conquered. Adam has to get it all down, and hold it down for 5 minutes. Gross.
But the kids are all excited and my husband is out of his mind, 'cause it's BBQ and hot and I'm actually in the room about to watch this with him. Well, maybe the last one he could care less about.
"Does he realize how bad this is for his health? Not the hot part but the amount fat that's in that sandwich?"
"Honey, usually his food is like 15 lbs. Just watch."
"He is just doing this for the money," I say. Incredulous that someone would risk their life for money. Oh wait, I watch Wipe-Out and Real Housewives.
"Well, no, honey, he loves going up against big food or hot food and sometimes, sometimes the food wins."
"Yes, but what about his cholesterol? He doesn't look as if he is in that good of shape. Didn't he watch Super Size Me?"
"This could kill him. Does he have a doctor monitoring his heart?"
"Huh, oh look, he's perspiring all down his face - he might lose this time."
"I don't understand. He has to eat a lot of food and people cheer him on, really? Haven't we learned anything about portion control. OMG his face is as red as my hair. Someone needs to step in. I hope he carries a defibrillator with him."
"No one can step in. What are you talking about? Look, he's gonna do it...okay, now he has to hold it down for 5 minutes."
"What, like he loses the game if he throws up? It is possible that his body may be a tad smarter than he is and feels it is in his life's best interest to purge this mess!"
"5,4,3,2,1" My family is all counting down now. Good grief. "Wow - that was awesome." They all agree. "Now he's drinking some milk to cool his burning mouth."
"What about his heart burn, agita, can you imagine the sodium level in that? Is he married?"
"Cause how can his wife let him do this? He is going to end up 600 lbs. and on a Discovery Channel show about the morbidly obese that can't get out of bed, and I'll be helpless to watch (shameless plug for my upcoming guest blog). Do you think they pump his stomach after these shows?"
"No. Honey, relax, he wouldn't do this if it was dangerous. Can you be quiet for 5 minutes?"
"5,4,3,2,1" My family began counting down.
"I really just don't see..."
Man vs. Food - 1 Me - 0