Tuesday, September 7, 2010

I'm Just Sitting Here Watching The Ants Go 'Round and 'Round

I am very sure this was not in my job description - or maybe it was. Who knows?

I woke up to find several sugar ants having a party on my kitchen island. I know... I left the lemon squares out covered only in tin-foil, my bad for sure. So, I throw out the offending squares, kill the little suckers one by one and wash down the island with an organic lemon-scented cleaner. Certain that has done the trick.

2 hours later - 4 little buggers are back. Where are they coming from? Squish, throw out, clean again and set out for my girlicologist appt. (I was hoping there would be something funny to report about it, but really, how could there be? Other than the fact that my doctor had an emergency and they asked me if I wouldn't mind seeing another NP. Nah. She walks in... "Nice to meet you" says my vagina...whatever!!!)

2 hours later - 1 lone little sugar ant. I dispose of him as I had done his brothers and then I think. I need to know where they are coming in. What good is it to get them when they are here. I need to find the point of entry...Lordy...this could go on forever.

So I sit and lo and behold I spy 2 ants in front of the fridge. And I'm sitting there thinking this could make a funny blog post. I'm noticing now that I have this blog, my life is lived in terms of "is this a funny entry?" So, I'm waiting and watching. They prefer if I don't move so I have to sit very still. I thought they would head straight for the island, but no, they circled around and around and I was like "come on one of you head for something, do something" maybe they were doing that signaling dance that bees do to alert the nest under my fridge that there could be a feast of lemon squares here or, more likely, that there's a 5'4" nutbag just lurking and killing them for no apparent reason. And could someone send in the reinforcements 'cause although she's sitting still, she ain't foolin' anyone.

Anyhow, I ended up squishing these two wayward ants 'cause they obviously have no idea what is going on and didn't get the message about the lemon squares. So I sit. And wait.

Soon my kids will be home and ain't this gonna be a sight. Mom squatting on the floor, napkin in fist, not moving, staring at the fridge, muttering to herself about lemon squares and an island. If I know my kids they'll be like "Hey mom, can you move, I gotta get in the fridge."

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